I must admit I was scared yesterday when praying. I was scared to say two words to God--"use me"! I even felt something in my throat as if those two words were having trouble coming out of my mouth. Why?
I believe the President of Proverbs 31 Ministries, Lysa Terkeurst, explains it well. She says sometimes we think God is a vending machine. We put in what is required and then hope to get something good in return.
We attend church hoping to have a good day, week, or month. We tithe because it is the "right" thing to do and hope God will reimburse us for something we desperately want, but do not need.
I can honestly say that sometimes I go to church because it is the right thing to do. I leave church feeling much better. Tithing is hard for me to do. I think twice about the amount I am "willing" to give instead of giving with a joyful heart.
I made a commitment to change my ways in 2010. I want to change how I just sit in a pew because it feels right...change how I tithe...learn how to witness...and I also want to get more involved with church.
So, I prayed yesterday for God to use me and to show me his plan for my life. It was extremely hard and I told God how hard it was for me to say those words. I had all kinds of thoughts running through my head.
...surely God does not want me to go overseas to witness or go on any other type of mission trip...
I have no idea what God has in store for me, but I will continue to pray and see how God plans to use me!
"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you." Jeremiah 29: 11-14
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I'm trying to post a comment and am having trouble. I typed a long one and lost it..now I'm just testing this to see if it works before I type another long one..ha
ReplyDeleteOk..here I go again with the long one. I am so proud of you for doing this. I miss you so much and wish we were closer. I think this might be just the thing to help us stay connected. I love what you are doing, and it has already helped me want to do better in my walk with the Lord. So see..he has already used you. I have a special prayer request..I have to tell Anna and Spencer about a friend who died. I worked with her at HLIS 2 yrs. ago and she has a little girl who was big friends with Spencer and Anna babysat for her. She had complications with surgery on a broken leg. I am just heartbroken and have been putting off telling them. Especially Anna. Please pray for us as we go through this. After you lose someone close and young like we have it makes things like this much more real and sad. They will feel the pain for sweet Brenna. Please pray for Michelle Feltman's family also. Brenna is 8 and an only child..adopted. She was Michelle's world. She is from Tuscaloosa and has no family here. Her husband works in Upper Mgt for Home Depot..that is why they live here. She is one of the only people I've worked with in HL who was " normal". Anyway..thanks and I'll keep you posted. Keep up the good work...I love you and I thank God for you and his bringing us together 1 yr. ago this week.
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